Heart Bypass Surgery

i think that the feeling of fear and depression never really go away after bypass i am now 29 months from byapss and massive mi and i have my days, and sometimes i feel selfish when i do have my days.... but like i tell my family whom by the way is very supportive.... that when and if they ever go thru what i went thru then and only then can they know what i feel and why i have my days ....i know how very lucky i am to be alive and i thank god every day but i have those days of why me and all the therapy or what evers will never take that away completely i just have my days and go on and look forwrad to wking up the next day. i now live with severe heart damage i have been told that i could be on a transplant list withing a couple of years like my hubby says could be now we need to focus on making it never which is what we do. i'm only 35 i had massive mi and bypass at 32 it was and still is a shocker to us but i just wanted to say that we should be allowed to feel depressed mad what ever a little bit in our life and untill they as in people who have not gone thru what we have go thru it they have no right to say get over it it happened nothing you can do about i have been told that a couple of times by people whom i have told right where to go.. well thanks for listening... good health to all. monica