HELLO NEW HERE-NEED ADVICE
Hello to all, I need some advice on my problem. My mother-in-law NEEDS 4x bypass (her left artery is 100% clogged and 50% on three others). Our problem is that the doctors want to hear her say the word "YES" to the surgery (due to her past history or depression and her being recently diagnosed with diabeties). She has basically said yes to us in her own way but they INSIST to hear it from her. We are all now at wits end postponing the surgery three times now! It is now scheduled for Monday and we all would like her to go through with it then (Family is getting very tired). Is there anyone out there that could give me some good advice on how else to approach this. We believe she wants this but she gets conflicting advice (from different doctors, i.e. surgeon, family doctor, nurses in ICU) If someone can advise me on some suggestions I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT! Thank you in advance Karin
Hi Karen: I can tell you of my experience with my 84yr old mother. She needed the bypass x3. When she went to the hospital they would not even let her out of the bed. She did have medical problems before but not with her heart. Acording to them they expected her to have a massive HA at any time and die.Anyway to make a long story short after a week of indecision on her part we asked to speak to a social worker. The answer we got was since she was still of sound mind she could make a decision even if it was the wrong one. Nothing we can do. I explained it was indecision. They spoke to her and she finally concented. This might sound real cruel and by no means happen to anyone else BUT she did run into problems, could not get out of the depressive state, drove me nuts. Would not eat and I had to change diapers. Finally got her to go to a nursing home even though she didnt want to go. I could not lift her anymore. she never forgave me or spoke to me again. She died 6 weeks later. The only advice I can give you is dont stress yourself out. It will work out. My feeling was my mom would have died in her sleep peacefully. And after 33 yrs of looking after this woman it had a bad ending. Let her be and Ihope all works out well. Stannis