Head Games
Last summer, while running windsprints with my 14 year old son, I suffered a massive MI. I was helicoptered from the ER to a hospital 70 miles away in the middle of the night. The next day my surgeon did a quad bypass. My actual physical recovery has been excellent; my BP is cut in half, cholesterol down 60 points and I've even gotten used to the strict low sodium, low fat diet. All this with the loving help of my great wife. As a former distance runner who kept in decent shape, this whole ordeal has seemed somewhat surreal. The biggest problem at this point is mental, not physical. Every chest discomfort is an attack waiting to happen, every physical symptom is cardiac related. I focus on my imagined shortened life expectancy and when the bypasses will have to be redone and whether the current grafts will "hold". I've never been a "hypo" before, but this is driving me nuts. Thanks for letting me get this "off my chest". Any suggestions? Dave
Dave, I can relate to your problem but fear not. I have long history of heart problems, mostly due to poor genetics. Had first CABG at age 44 in 1981. After 2nd CABG in 1989 was very down mentally, why me syndrome. Remembering wise words of my surgeon "we have only bypassed your heart disease, not removed, Now it is up to you to prevent recurrence." I started taking some positive steps. The thing about heart disease that differs from others is except for genetics there are things we can do to cut down the risk. I had always enjoyed cycling and after my recovery used that as exercise tool. I joined local club and 11 months post CABG did my first century (100 miles) ride. I had never cycled more than 20 miles prior to surgery. I did a few long cycling tours and in 1997 decided for my big 60 birthday to do a cross country cycling tour. I raised $5000 for the American Heart Association which made it even more special. Since 1990 I have cycled about 50,000 miles. Past year there have been some bumps in the road and I can't go as far and not as fast. I also wonder at times (now 13 years post CABG) if I will need a 3rd CABG, but I still do all the things I have to, exercise, diet, stress reduction, meds, etc. to reduce risks. My theory has always been if I block again I want to know that I did everything possible to prevent it. The book Ann refers to is Coping With Heart Surgery and Bypassing Depression : So Dave get up off the floor and look at your life and decide if you want to sit in a chair and feel sorry for yourself or take some positive steps. You sound to me like someone who will choose the latter. Good luck, Harry K PS Do you live in NJ. I live in Central NJ.
Brian, thanks for sharing your experience. You get a certain sense of vindication learning that others are feeling what you are going through. What I think I'm learning here is two basic things: you must do everything possible to improve your cardiac status by lowering your risk factors and generally upgrading your life. Second, having done that, you must live your life as fully as possible so as not to become a cardiac cripple. As hard as we have both apparently worked to do the first, it is probably as difficult, if not more so, to do the second. Getting better physically takes discipline; getting better emotionally takes guts. Best of luck to you on both fronts. Feel free to contact me at any time with your thoughts or experiences. Dave C
Jack, thank you for your kind thoughts and sound advice. I may need to work a little harder at letting it go, but I'm sure in time it will be OK. I have not given up hope yet by any means, but thanks for your prayers to St. Jude. Dave C
Harry, thanks for the inspiring words. I had already made a promise to myself to train for and run a sub 7 minute mile on 6/24/02 - the one year anniversary of my attack. I will purchase the book you recommend and read it. From what you and others have said, it seems as though one of the keys to both physical and emotional recovery is good old fashioned fortitude and perseverance. Congratulations on your outstanding achievements and continued goog luck and good health! I live in Beesleys Point, NJ which is in Cape May county just west of Ocean City.
Brian, my wife got me several heart healthy cookbooks which have been helpful. I am a bit obsessive about low fat, low sodium, low cholesterol, etc, but I find it helpful to splurge once in a while. Tonight we're going out for salad and pasta. It may not be the best cardiac food available, but its good for the soul. The red wine doesn't hurt either. Dave