Charlie update and my view on depression
Hi Everyone. I took some photos of Charlie and will post them to the photo section. One of his chest, one of his leg and one of him dressed right after his hair cut today. Our next door neighbor who is a hair dresser, came over and cut it for him. Just tickled him to death and made him feel much better. He goes for a sleep apnea test tomorrow night. Have any of you had one since your diagnosis of heart disease or by-pass? The heart surgeon really insisted on it because sleep apea can cause heart attacks and the nurses all noticed the way he was sleeping in the hospitals. Now, I would like to bend your ears a little about depression. I am a person who is proud to have been diagnosed with depression. Yes, that is right. I am proud of it. Why you say ??? Well, I will tell you. The type depression I have is the disease. My brain does not produce seritonin. I started having problems with depression after I gave birth to our second child. After about 7 months of feeling worthless and being a real "beehive' to live with, I went to a doctor. This was in 1976. when not much was known about depression. The doctor I went to told me that, the way I was feeling is a way all women feel. I wanted to die. I just went home and remember praying that he was wrong. Dear Lord, please don't let all women feel this way. What is wrong with me, I thought? This is not normal. I just kept getting worse and worse. In 1989, I was at my lowest point. Then I lost my brother to cancer/HIV. Shortly after that I took care of my mother while she was dieing from pancreatic cancer. Five months later our son, who had just graduated 11 days earlier was in a devastating car accident. No one knows how he survived. He spent 6 months in and out of hospitals having surgeries. He even had to learn to walk, talk and use his hands all over again. Today, other than a limp, from having steel rods from his ankle to his hip, and shakey hands, due to nerve damage, he is fine. Yes, I had a terrible child hood, also. Both my parents were alcoholics. When my father left, my mothers drunk boyfriend lived with us. He was abusive to my mother and he molested me from the time I was 5 till I was 12, and I started sleeping with butcher knife under my pillow. When my mother found the knife she wanted to know what it was doing there. When I told her, she told me, we young girls today, are asking for that because of the way we dressed, wearing hip huggers and mini skirts. Well, all this time I am falling through the cracks,as a child and left to live with my older married sister and her family. Anyway, One day Charlie came home from work and I was sitting in the corner, on the floor of the kitchen, crying my eyes out. I wanted a divorce. I wanted to leave him and our children. I wanted my husband to have a good wife, one who was not a wreck. He deserved the best, I was the worst. I could not think. I could not smile, no matter what. I was a horrible wife, mother, sister, aunt, friend.... When Charlie found me sitting there, in my little corner, he sat there with me and let me cry till I could not cry any longer. The next day he stayed home from work and found me a new primary care doctor. To this day, I call him my angel. This doctor listened to me and didn't judge me. He let me talk for nearly an hour. You know what he told me? He said nearly 50% of the people, both men and women, who come through his doors these days, are there because of the stress in their lives, causing depression. He said, Barbara, I am going to help you. I have been on depression meds and off three different times since then. They must try you on them and then take you off after a couple years, to see how you do. Once you have done that three times then you never have to go off them again. They know for sure it is a chemical imbalance. My depression, would come back within a couple months after going off the meds. Thus, I have the disease, depression. Depression for me is just as real as your heart disease is to those of you who have heart disease. You know why I am proud to say I suffer with depression, because I am no longer depressed, I take my meds faithfully. I am a survivor. There are lots of bad news about anti-depressants. Like suicide. It has been proven that most of the bad instances are due to the fact they are taking the wrong meds OR they go on and off the meds, because people start to feel better.The brain does not know what to do. You tell the brain, Hey brain you need these meds, then you tell the brain, well I feel better so you don't need them for a few days. Well, this is asking for trouble. Even if you do not have the disease, like I have. You still can not mess with the drug. I have heard many of you say, that you quit taking the meds because you felt better. Please, do not do that, I beg you. Stay on them till your doctor takes you off, by tapering you off them. Next, if the meds you are taking do not work, Tell the doctor. There are many anti-depressants. Your doctor can help you find the one that is right for you. Remember, you did not get depressed over night so you can not exspect the meds to help you over night. It may take 7 - 10 days for you to notice a difference. Your body has been through a traumatic thing with having heart disease and by-pass. You have every right to be depressed. There is help for you, I Promise !! Doctors are given lots of samples too. So ask for samples. I am not saying that any of you have the disease of depression, so please do not think I am. However, I am saying if you are feeling depressed get help. There is help out there. Depression is REAL, it is not your imagination. Every time I hear someone say, oh depression is not real, I want to slap them into tomorrow. Those of you who go on and off your depression meds, please do not do that. People have committed suicide, homocide and harm to others by doing that. You deserve to feel the best you can feel, isn't that the reason you had by-pass? So don't stop there, if something is still broke, get it fixed. I want you to know, I am always here for anyone who would like to talk to me about depression. I am not a doctor; I am a proud survivor of depression. I hope I have not offended anyone. That is not my intention. I want to help, if I can. I care about you. Hugs, Barbee
Hello Barb & Charlie That was one good reading...thanks... you said it all... it took until this past fall that l got on antidepressend...infact when l told him...He said wondered when l would admidt it..l had been trought to much in the past 7 yrs...that 1 little pill a day sure works wonders.. Off and on l have to take sleeping pills....cause l get in spurts l can not sleep...and l am aware of this..all l have to do is call and tell them l get a refill... Rita Hi Everyone. I took some photos of Charlie and will post them to the photo section. One of his chest, one of his leg and one of him dressed right after his hair cut today. Our next door neighbor who is a hair dresser, came over and cut it for him. Just tickled him to death and made him feel much better. He goes for a sleep apnea test tomorrow night. Have any of you had one since your diagnosis of heart disease or by-pass? The heart surgeon really insisted on it because sleep apea can cause heart attacks and the nurses all noticed the way he was sleeping in the hospitals. Now, I would like to bend your ears a little about depression. I am a person who is proud to have been diagnosed with depression. Yes, that is right. I am proud of it. Why you say ??? Well, I will tell you. The type depression I have is the disease. My brain does not produce seritonin. I started having problems with depression after I gave birth to our second child. After about 7 months of feeling worthless and being a real "beehive' to live with, I went to a doctor. This was in 1976. when not much was known about depression. The doctor I went to told me that, the way I was feeling is a way all women feel. I wanted to die. I just went home and remember praying that he was wrong. Dear Lord, please don't let all women feel this way. What is wrong with me, I thought? This is not normal. I just kept getting worse and worse. In 1989, I was at my lowest point. Then I lost my brother to cancer/HIV. Shortly after that I took care of my mother while she was dieing from pancreatic cancer. Five months later our son, who had just graduated 11 days earlier was in a devastating car accident. No one knows how he survived. He spent 6 months in and out of hospitals having surgeries. He even had to learn to walk, talk and use his hands all over again. Today, other than a limp, from having steel rods from his ankle to his hip, and shakey hands, due to nerve damage, he is fine. Yes, I had a terrible child hood, also. Both my parents were alcoholics. When my father left, my mothers drunk boyfriend lived with us. He was abusive to my mother and he molested me from the time I was 5 till I was 12, and I started sleeping with butcher knife under my pillow. When my mother found the knife she wanted to know what it was doing there. When I told her, she told me, we young girls today, are asking for that because of the way we dressed, wearing hip huggers and mini skirts. Well, all this time I am falling through the cracks,as a child and left to live with my older married sister and her family. Anyway, One day Charlie came home from work and I was sitting in the corner, on the floor of the kitchen, crying my eyes out. I wanted a divorce. I wanted to leave him and our children. I wanted my husband to have a good wife, one who was not a wreck. He deserved the best, I was the worst. I could not think. I could not smile, no matter what. I was a horrible wife, mother, sister, aunt, friend.... When Charlie found me sitting there, in my little corner, he sat there with me and let me cry till I could not cry any longer. The next day he stayed home from work and found me a new primary care doctor. To this day, I call him my angel. This doctor listened to me and didn't judge me. He let me talk for nearly an hour. You know what he told me? He said nearly 50% of the people, both men and women, who come through his doors these days, are there because of the stress in their lives, causing depression. He said, Barbara, I am going to help you. I have been on depression meds and off three different times since then. They must try you on them and then take you off after a couple years, to see how you do. Once you have done that three times then you never have to go off them again. They know for sure it is a chemical imbalance. My depression, would come back within a couple months after going off the meds. Thus, I have the disease, depression. Depression for me is just as real as your heart disease is to those of you who have heart disease. You know why I am proud to say I suffer with depression, because I am no longer depressed, I take my meds faithfully. I am a survivor. There are lots of bad news about anti-depressants. Like suicide. It has been proven that most of the bad instances are due to the fact they are taking the wrong meds OR they go on and off the meds, because people start to feel better.The brain does not know what to do. You tell the brain, Hey brain you need these meds, then you tell the brain, well I feel better so you don't need them for a few days. Well, this is asking for trouble. Even if you do not have the disease, like I have. You still can not mess with the drug. I have heard many of you say, that you quit taking the meds because you felt better. Please, do not do that, I beg you. Stay on them till your doctor takes you off, by tapering you off them. Next, if the meds you are taking do not work, Tell the doctor. There are many anti-depressants. Your doctor can help you find the one that is right for you. Remember, you did not get depressed over night so you can not exspect the meds to help you over night. It may take 7 - 10 days for you to notice a difference. Your body has been through a traumatic thing with having heart disease and by-pass. You have every right to be depressed. There is help for you, I Promise !! Doctors are given lots of samples too. So ask for samples. I am not saying that any of you have the disease of depression, so please do not think I am. However, I am saying if you are feeling depressed get help. There is help out there. Depression is REAL, it is not your imagination. Every time I hear someone say, oh depression is not real, I want to slap them into tomorrow. Those of you who go on and off your depression meds, please do not do that. People have committed suicide, homocide and harm to others by doing that. You deserve to feel the best you can feel, isn't that the reason you had by-pass? So don't stop there, if something is still broke, get it fixed. I want you to know, I am always here for anyone who would like to talk to me about depression. I am not a doctor; I am a proud survivor of depression. I hope I have not offended anyone. That is not my intention. I want to help, if I can. I care about you. Hugs, Barbee