Allow me to introduce myself....
Hi everyone. I'm called Erin and I'm new here. I'm a 28-year-old college student (Cincinnati College of Morturary Science), mother to a four-year-old boy, and perpetual health nut and work-out queen. My mom, on the other hand, is a 53-year-old diabetic nurse (that means that she's stubborn when it comes to going to see a doctor) that decided to have a heart attack on St. Patrick's Day. I'll spare the details because I'm sure that her unfortunate story is probably similar to yours or someone you know. In a nutshell, the next day she had an emergency bypass (not triple, or quadruple, but a 5-way. What's that called? A quint- bypass or something?) surgery to try and somewhat correct her somewhat diseased pumper. The surgeon said that if I hadn't gotten to her when I did then she would have died. She gave me life, I saved hers. I guess what I'm trying to gain by joining this group is maybe some words of wisdom, hope, advice... something. I'm her only living relative. She had no husband (My father is probably one of the reasons her ticker's so bad to begin with!), or parents, or siblings and I'm an only child. I'm it. I know that after she gets discharged (she's still in ICU) from the hospital she'll have to have someone stay with her for a while. I'm prepared for that. What I'm not prepared for is everything that goes with this. What else should I expect? How should I act? How will she act? Why didn't she have more kids so that I can share this stress with someone else? Maybe I just need a hug. Who knows. Any advice (or a hug) is appreciated. Thanks in advance... -Erin
Erin, "Why didn't she have more kids so that I can share this stress with someone else?" My daughter's sentiments exactly. She hates being an only child, especially since this has happened to me. She's 33, and her Dad and I divorced when she was 26. You will be given (or should be given) some literature when she is released from the hospital that will explain all the signs to look for if you need to call the doctor in the event of a problem or concern. And even if it's not in the book, and you are concerned...CALL! It sounds as though you have made arrangements to have someone stay with her? I didn't have a home nurse. But I did need someone the first week. After that my husband went to work and I was on my own from 5 am until 3 in the afternoon. When she does stay by herself, make sure that everything is within her reach. The cupboards for glasses, plates, the pantry. I'm short, so I had problems even reaching the backs of my counter tops. Even opening the refrigerator door is a struggle because it's heavy....I was fortunate; mine is pretty easily opened, but I know that my old one wasn't. Have simple meals that she can heat in the microwave. Sandwiches aren't a good choice. It may not have been so for everyone here, but my throat had trouble swallowing bread after having all those tubes for so long. She won't be able to lift over 5 pounds for several weeks, nor drive for about 4 weeks. You are probably alread familiar with the heart pillow, and they will be giving her therapy in the hospital in regards to taking care of herself by getting out of bed, sitting, rising, walking. I had a large foam shaped wedge pillow that aided me greatly. I slept on it, or put it beneath my feet when I needed to elevate my legs for edema. You can get these from catalogs or medical equipment places. She will need help showering the first week or so at home. You get weak very easily. My daughter dated a mortician when she was in college. And spent a lot of time in the embalming room studying while he worked. So, just when you think you've seen it all and nothing can bother you....it's your MOM. And what's going on with her does bother you; I witnessed the look of pure terror in my daughter's eyes and on her face when I opened my eyes. And I couldn't reassure her because of all the tubes. But her "Mommy, Mommy....it's gonna be all right; don't worry about anything! I'll take care of you.", well, I'll never forget. It tore me to pieces and completed me all at the same time; I can't explain it. She hadn't called me "Mommy" since kindergarten. I had been "Mom" or "Mother" for so many years. I hope you will have her join in here when she's up to it. I will remember both of you in my prayers. Hang in there....and ask anything you need to ask! Hugs and more hugs to you... Connie age 55, triple bypass Aug 10, 04 at the age of 54 Born2embalm <headtechnician@... Hi everyone. I'm called Erin and I'm new here. I'm a 28-year-old college student (Cincinnati College of Morturary Science), mother to a four-year-old boy, and perpetual health nut and work-out queen. My mom, on the other hand, is a 53-year-old diabetic nurse (that means that she's stubborn when it comes to going to see a doctor) that decided to have a heart attack on St. Patrick's Day. I'll spare the details because I'm sure that her unfortunate story is probably similar to yours or someone you know. In a nutshell, the next day she had an emergency bypass (not triple, or quadruple, but a 5-way. What's that called? A quint- bypass or something?) surgery to try and somewhat correct her somewhat diseased pumper. The surgeon said that if I hadn't gotten to her when I did then she would have died. She gave me life, I saved hers. I guess what I'm trying to gain by joining this group is maybe some words of wisdom, hope, advice... something. I'm her only living relative. She had no husband (My father is probably one of the reasons her ticker's so bad to begin with!), or parents, or siblings and I'm an only child. I'm it. I know that after she gets discharged (she's still in ICU) from the hospital she'll have to have someone stay with her for a while. I'm prepared for that. What I'm not prepared for is everything that goes with this. What else should I expect? How should I act? How will she act? Why didn't she have more kids so that I can share this stress with someone else? Maybe I just need a hug. Who knows. Any advice (or a hug) is appreciated. Thanks in advance... -Erin
Erin I agree with everything you've been told. The only thing I have to add is push her; but let her decide when shes had enough. I went back to work 30 days after a 4XCABG on 12/29/03. I felt fine for six months. I did just about what ever I wanted. I tilled my garden and planted the biggest one we had had to date and still is. I worked like nothing had ever happened. But it was all at the persetence of the doctor. That if I didn't use it then it would take longer to heal. Nope. I now have constant chest pain, shortness of breath, and depressed. Thats something you need to be prepared for is her depression. I hits us all differently. Hershell
.... she would have died.....saved hers. Hi Erin.I parsed a few words of your original post for my clarity. I read comments you already received. It's a pretty good group. You wrote this Sunday morning? I was debating whether to pick up the AA in Maysville or Alexandria. Then I headed past Rus's place. (I'm still pissed at his weather selection. lol) I live in Greensboro,NC What's a 5-way called? I do believe that's a chili spegetti with cheese, onion and bean. (HaHa. I have a warped sende of humor-sorry.) I never liked 5- ways, I really preferred 3-ways. or, Cheese Coneys, no onion. I guess all those 3-ways and coneys I had for lunch every day had something to do with MY 5-way. I also had a full blown heart attack, an emergency 5xbypass, and while I also share the stubborn part with your mom, I'm not a diabetic. I turn 50 in a couple weeks. Stubborn's good. At least I think so. Stubborn ones are not going to let something like a bypass completely shut them down. The first day home by myself, my wife thought it was important to have a nurse there. The second day, they sent in a real looser, and I sent her home. This stubborn old boy didn't need help, and in reality, I was able to do everything I needed. It just took more time. So my first piece of advice, don't try to do TOO much for her. Don't try to find logic in it either. She might get irritatted when you help sometimes, and be thankful other times. Just try to accept that, and realize if it happens, it's not you. You say you're a health nut. That's good. You'll be able to help out her diet change. It isn't that bad, really. BTY, Gold Star is lowest in fat--just use your own Kraft Shredded Fat Free Chedar and life is good. I would have killed for a 3-way after I got home. I expect everyone else thinks I'm talking Greek right now. rotflol. Coffee's ok IF you use a paper filter. The bad part of coffee (phenolics) is absorbed by the paper/cellulose. Caffine isn't in itself bad. I've gone the half caffene/half decaf and that's really not too bad if you can buy a good decaf. The worst part of coffee is that coffee and cigs kind of go together, and the smoking does have to go. Hopefully she's not like my wife and her family. Quitting is impossible. Oh, yeah, they were all from your side of the river. Erlanger, I think. Good luck. I'm not sure if anyone mentioned the bizare sleep patterns. If in doubt, look at how many 3 AM posts there are. I lived in a recliner for a while. How will she act? I don't think i acted that much different. However, my wife says I was really kind of demanding, and not very tolerant of delays. If I wanted something, i wanted it NOW.And even said I was moody. Funny, i don't remember that at all. And you? Keep yourself healthy. Get your rest. My wife was actually getting a less restful sleep than I was, because she kept checking on me to make sure I was breathing. I snored before, I didn't when I first got home. So she kept checking me at all times of the night, and therefore got a lousy night's sleep. Make sure you don't forget to do things for yourself. In that vain, nice ink. I get it. And do whatever you can to get her in Cardio Rehab. With the heart attack, it's really important to build the heart back up in the proper manner. Maybe just as important, there's some good friendships made. Rambled enough. Best wishes to you and your mom, and your daughter. Fred Rolls