Steve,
I keep trying to come up with solutions to help with some of your woes. I've had to be a little adaptable myself over the last few years because I still needed to bring in an income of some sort, even when it became apparent that due to health problems of various sorts, that it wouldn't be by doing what I had previously done.
In the past, I had always worked as an adminstrative assistant in an office setting. Back in 1996 & 97, I suffered from post traumatic stress, which rendered me unable to read and write for a year. And when I got better, my cognitive skills were on the blink. My fingers always had a "built in" spell check! I knew when I hit the wrong key for a typo at the instance that I did it! But after that breakdown, I have problems even choosing the right word I need to make myself clear for communications.
Before my illness, I had an auto-dictionary & thesaurus in my head! I loved proofing, and helped to create many in-house brochures in the communications department where I worked, as well as working with our ad agency for those produced outside the bureau. I proofed and found typos after they'd been eye-balled by 5 or 6 others; today, I can't catch my own! And I do weird things like always putting a "t" on the end of the word "enough"....I do it EVERY TIME! I spell that word...."enought". It's like my brain has a short circuit.
I could probably get by in a clerical position that didn't require as much responsibility or offer as much pay, but around the same time as my breakdown, I started experiencing another strange phenomena...one that my younger sister had started experiencing about 3 years before: the bones in my feet break for no apparent reason.
Our bone density tests are ok....and the only person who has been able to offer an explaination is my second orthopediac doc. He says that it is something that occurs in short women who have very fair skin, but dark hair and dark eyes. And my sister and I fit that description.
Our feet break just walking down the street! And we know when it happens! We fall on our face! But the first time it happened to me, I thought it was a sprain until I heard it snap 3 days later, then I fell on my face! That break did not show up on X-ray. Well, it did.....but the physician's assistant who read the x-ray taken in my primary care doc's office DID NOT CATCH IT! So I walked around on a broken foot....or I should say, "limped" around on a broken foot from April to Sept that year. And it never healed.
I was fitted with a device like Troy Aikmen wore to "shock" his shoulder bone into healing. Didn't work. I ended up a year later having a screw put into donated cadaver bone within a hollowed out area of my "Jones" fracture.....that's the outer bone in the foot. And it finally healed. Six months later, the screw came out, only because the head of it stuck out and prevented me from wearing a shoe. And that break has held (knock on wood) for the last 6 years. But then, my middle foot bone started breaking. After taking time off work on two different breaks, I started just not even going to the doc when it happens! The insurance will pay for a solid cast for my foot that goes up to my knee....but it is so uncomfortable, and hard to shower or take a bath. The preferred treatment for my foot is the walking boot cast. But they cost $200 and up, and not covered by my insurance.
Now, I have stopped going to the doc when it happens. He can't tell me anything I don't already know, because I know when it's broken, and I just put on my walking boot/cast until it heals! I don't even bother to buy them new anymore! I buy them used off of eBay when I can find them, and have a selection of different colors/heights. I have ones that I wear as dress cast, and my tattered and worn ones for the outdoors!
This past Thanksgiving was a marker for me. It has been two years without a broken bone in my foot! I think it is due to the fact that I more or less stopped wearing shoes unless I go somewhere! It bothered me so much to wear shoes, that I stopped commuting to an office job, and opened a daycare for infants in my home 4 years ago. The babies and parents never minded that I would go barefoot or wear comfy houseslippers.
That was a solution for me that provided an income up until I had to close the daycare last March to care for my brother before he passed. And now that I can't do the daycare any longer, due to my bypass surgery 5 months ago. I have had to come up with something else that will bring in a little income.
In this situation, I turned to a hobby of mine....eBaying. I've always loved antiques and collectibles, and have even had a booth in antique malls in the past. Even during the days that I ran the daycare, I bought and sold on eBay on the side. I've just increased/become more active in doing that these days to provide a little extra income. My husband and I enjoy going to flea markets, garage sales and auctions....even thrift stores yield items that are great for resale. Denim jeans, for instance. And that's where I scrounge up my "treasures" to sell on eBay. I stick to smaller items that are easily shipped.
My husband is also an avid gun collector and target shooter. You can't sell guns on eBay, but you can sell accessories and parts for them on eBay. So he buys and we in turn sell, items like 22 rifle bolts, front and rear sights, inserts, handstops, etc.
I'm not saying that what I do is suitable for everyone. For instance, it's an almost MUST to have a digital camera to take photos of the items you sell. And I don't know if you have one or not.
What I am trying to say is that sometimes we just have to roll with the punches, and get back up. That's what I did with my daycare, and that's what I'm doing with eBaying. As my health improves....hopefully after this gallbladder surgery, and after I get past this first year of bypass, I can feel well enough to look for a part time job to bring in extra money. I don't know if I'll ever be able to do a full time job again; I still have blockage at the bottom of my heart that slows me down.
Perhaps you can call on one of your skills or hobbies to earn a little extra money. For instance, you know guitars...right? Could you turn a pawn shop purchase of an instrument into an eBay sale?
Could you teach guitar to youngsters....even though your fingers don't serve you well enough to play in a band any longer.
I don't know your exact predicument, and what you are capable of doing, but am just offering suggestions.
Could you work as a school crossing guard? Still throwing out suggestions here.
One other thought that entered my mind is that you said you made $6 too much to qualify for certain financial assistance. Is that based on your wife's part time income, or is it based entirely on what you receive in aid? If it's on your wife's part time income, could she not approach her boss and request a CUT in pay....one that will put your combined income under that $6 too much mark? I would think a boss would love a request for a CUT in pay if that will work!!!!
I think if you could come up with some sort of solution that will help, you will be helping yourself more than just benefits financially. I think it will help you with your depression and social anxieties because you will be feeling more in control of what seems like a hopeless situation.
Of course, it's easy for an outsider to see possible solutions and suggest them; none of these may be workable in your situation. But perhaps, it will trigger a thought of what may work for you and your family.
Take care!
Connie